Headlong

Monday I began a fitness challenge/competition through Crossfit Nation. Initially, I wasn't sure how this would work out but I was ready to try. No grains, no corn, no SUGAR!, no any of the crap I've been shoving into my body for years. Not only are the food restrictions intense but it also includes some serious working out. If you know me, you know I haven't been much of a worker-outer. Certainly never considered myself an athlete. Actually, my sister said this summer at the beach was the first time she'd seen me run since adulthood. (sad, I know.) Needless to say, this is definitely going to challenge me. But with wide open arms, I was ready to jump in. Head first. No looking back. 

Today? Today I woke up wishing that was not my alarm going off... already. and again. Today I forced myself out of my comfy bed to face my 5am punishment WOD. Today, I experienced emotions, feelings, stuff I have never felt before. This is going to seem dramatic but the only thing I can equate it with is giving birth. Namely the labor part. Except, I think I'm better at childbirth. Going into this particular work out, I wasn't expecting it to make me feel so defeated by round 2 of 5. 

My brain was saying, 

"There is no way you'll ever get through this." 

"Everyone is so much stronger than you." 

"What in the WORLD are you doing???" 

As my brain tried to convince me of its inconvenient lies, I pushed. Hard. I wanted to stop but I couldn't. I was angry. I was hurting. I was HOT. I was motivated. The thing about Crossfit Nation is that it is a community. They pick you up when you feel like walking away. They don't let you quit. It was beyond hard but I didn't quit. Never, never, never have felt like that before. 

When I finished that final rep, I sat down hoping no one would talk to me & expect an answer because I reeeeaaallly didn't want to cry. Not in front of these people. I had already done so much. Just let me get to my van. Of course, it couldn't be avoided. Again, if you know me, you know I wear my emotions all over my face. I can't hide it. I don't know what my face looked like but it was apparent I went somewhere I'd never gone before.

As soon as I sat and tried to catch my breath, to pull myself together, a warm tingle flooded my entire body inside. It was good but my emotions were maxed out. As soon as someone asked me how I was doing, the tears could no longer be held in. I just sat there with tears streaming down and trying to figure out what in the world was going on inside. It was weird & painful & good.

It still all seems a bit dramatic. I mean, it's not like it is the Olympics or even that I finished any better than last but I finished. Isn't that's what it's about? Finishing? Improving? Surpassing your expectations? So here I go... heading into Day 5 and feeling good. I'm sore and tired but I'm pushing through. 

Arms wide open.

As a side note- I wasn't necessarily planning to share about this Lurong Living Paleo Challenge- I'm not even sure why. Mostly because of fear probably. After today, I knew I had to write. For myself. I had to get it out. So if you are contemplating diving in head first or wrapping your arms around something big... something hard...

Run headlong!

DO IT! GO FOR IT! YOU GOT THIS!

overflowing with favor

Thankful Thursday? I've got an easy peasy one for ya.

GOD LOVES HIS CHILDREN.

I really could say nothing more & that would be enough. Really & truly. However, I will say a little more...

Not only did I get to watch this happen yesterday...

...but I also gave into demands for butterfly kisses...

... And really I get to watch this happen pretty much everyday...

But then...

God knocked the socks off of my family this week. And let's be real, we're not even wearing socks this time of year so that's pretty dang amazin'! We are truly feeling loved & cared about not only by the Lord & his gracious, humbling provision but also by our church family. (cue floodgates)

Sometimes God chooses to totally bless you when you feel the most undeserving. When you've decided to settle with "it is what it is." He is SO much bigger than that. So much more than whatever "it" is. I know that. This week, He thought He'd settle that in my heart a bit more. 

Grace. I am so incredibly undeserving but his love & favor just continue to be poured out. It is a beautiful thing to be confident in Him. Completely unmerited but completely accepted. I am blown away once again by the love of our Lord & savior. Really my words aren't even coming out in anyway close to what I am feeling inside.

Family- you have blessed us.  

So much my heart could burst. 

These lyrics are sitting heavy with me tonight because of all His goodness. They are from a song by Austin Stone, Praise to the Lord.

And I'll walk with you

Through the fire and the rain

You'll carry me

When my hope seems undone

Praise to the Lord, oh my soul

Praise to the Lord, for all that you are

You are the hope of my soul

Praise to the Lord, for all that you are

I'm broken

Yet perfectly sewn

Your story

A masterful tone

He never lets go. He is perfect in every way and sees our every need. He is never unprepared or late or in a hurry. He isn't confined or worried. He is God. He is powerful. And He is alive.

graceFULL

Lately, I've been in a bit of a funk. Grouchy. Moody. A true punishment for my husband. When I read in proverbs about the quarreling wife, I can't help but think- my poor husband must wish he lived in the corner of a rooftop- he'd be better off there. Or at least less wounded. This was my thought yesterday when I read Proverbs 26.

Then, I was reminded of grace. Oh glorious grace. How you bless me. How you save me. It picks me up off the floor of self-pity, guilt and condemnation and reminds how much Jesus loves me! I prayed a prayer of repentance. I prayed for his spirit to work in my heart and make me gentle. kind. loving. patient. Seriously, He has blessed me with an amazing man and I cannot imagine my life without him.

And that fills me.
With grace.
I may not be very graceful.
But definitely
graceFULL.

Photo credit: In His Grace Photography

We're in this together <3

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This post was brought to you courtesy of Five Minute Friday. A link up that only requires five minutes of your writing time and spits out an unedited, raw post. So set your timer and get writing. This was my first attempt. You probably can tell but it was fun and I look forward to joining in again next week :)

favorite days

Favorite things.

Simply put.

These. People.

btw- this is their newest favorite thing... diving/swimming.

they do it in the bathtub as well.

and are so proud of it!

this is my Ava girl 

she is hilarious and such a sweetie.

she also puked all over herself today when we were on our way to a friends house.

unfortunately or fortunately, we are well versed in taking apart and washing carseats.

#paininthebutt

lilly is super smiley and such an explorer.

she has bruises on her head and a gash in her foot right now.

but she is also a lil mama and a sweet soul.

malakai never stops.

talking.

moving.

thinking.

doing.

he is always into something.

but he loves his sister somethin' awful.

and is the sweetest little daddy's boy I've ever seen.

and he has the best hair.

:)

malakai, the train conductor.

Ava looks super uncomfortable here but she laid like this on purpose and was totally chillin out.