A Look at Toes

Hello friends :) I'm forewarning you, this post is unplanned and probably not that well written but it is what it is. Just sayin.

If you jump over to a really precious blog, Finding Joy, you will see she is currently hosting a series called, 10 Days of Intentional Parenting. Today, I decided to join in the fun. The journaling for Day 1 led me to where my thoughts are now. In the 5 things I would like to see change/grow in my mothering I listed:

"Look at their toes." 

Think about how many things change, grow and even disappear in your children- right before your very eyes. It is slow. It creeps up on you. But it happens. Ever so slowly, it happens. Their tiny little faces begin to grow into their seemingly huge eyes. Teeny tiny noses no longer seem teeny tiny. You forget the smallness of their little ears. One day you can just rub their head with a towel after bath and have a perfectly dry head of fuzz and the next, you need conditioner, a comb and time. Their tiny little lips are suddenly forming words- "Momma." "Daddy."  "NO!" Just yesterday- it seems- I was their only source of nourishment. Now it's all cheese sticks and fishies. One day I needed coffee to get up with them, now I need it to keep up with them. All THREE of them. 

Photo credit: In His Grace Photography

Photo credit: In His Grace Photography

And then there's those toes. Those little feet. Thirty little toes that I've kissed, smelled, covered, held. They change too. Boy, do they ever change. I kick myself for never making imprints. I had the stuff- just never made it a priority to get it done. 

Now? 

Now I can't remember the smallness. 

They come from the womb completely unblemished. New. Untouched by this world. No dirt or sweat or scrapes or scratches. Just perfect, lovely, little tiny wrinkled baby feet. 

Photo credit: In His Grace Photography

Photo credit: In His Grace Photography

When I really think about it, I can remember the stretches. Their feet extended as far as they'll go and toes spread apart as if to say, "I'm here! I'm ready to go! And you're never gonna squish me back into that tiny space again!"

Today, all those feet have touched the ground more than once or twice. They've been scratched, stubbed, dirtied. They've grown! My goodness, they have grown! Malakai's are wider- they remind me of my brother Sam's feet. He has short stubby toes. They smell awful. I mean, it is truly terrible. My girls feet look the same as  one another but very different from their brother's. They are long & skinny. And hello? Nail polish on baby toes? Duh! (it's how we told them apart after we brought them home from the hospital) 

You may think I'm strange. You'd be right. 

Regardless, I am a mom that avoids infant shoes at all cost. They are adorable but I like to hold on to that innocence. My girls were born in winter- they wore lots of thick tights & socks. :) Shoes are for walking and they weren't ready for that yet. It seems silly but it's completely the truth. I remember the first week we took them to church after they started walking, I thought, "shoot, I have to find shoes for them to wear." Added a whole 10 minutes onto my routine ;)

As I'm writing this, I don't know if it is even making sense. All I  know is, looking at their (still) small feet and toes is going to be a priority. It represents all the small stuff. Those fleeting moments that are easy to forget. 

Feet tell a story. Innocence lost. Wisdom gained. Memories and miles. All part of life. A glimpse into the past- evidence of life lived. At the start though, they are a promise of a story to tell. Miles yet to be had.