Sharing some thoughts that have been churning...
Dear 17 year old Sarah:
First of all, no matter how many times you say you'd never want twins, you will have twins and they will light up your world and you will be more than fine. Also, you will get your wish: your first born is a boy. As much as you love these little people- and trust me, that's a whole, WHOLE lot- there will be sacrifice. Your priorities will change. Your heart will change. Your body will change.
Not to worry, this note is one of encouragement.
As a mama of 3under3, your body will be stretched, worn, cut, pulled, torn, bitten... Your 17 year old self might easily look in the mirror or worse, look down at your 27 year old self in absolute horror of what you see. In fact, you might wonder how you could ever allow this to happen. Mostly, you would probably wonder (as your husband so sheepishly (& innocently) will ask after your 1st baby),
"Will it ever go back?"
Proudly (and with a slight chuckle) I would tell you,
"Nope, not ever."
(at least not without surgery)
Consider them battle wounds. Battle wounds are not the kind of scars you hide. They are the kind you show off proudly. They are the ones you want everyone to know the story behind. (unlike the story you'll want never repeated about the car you will purchase and quickly wreck in a couple of years...) In order to receive them, you endured a long labor, a sea of emotions, months and months of uncomfortable living, surgery &
very. real. sacrifice.
Fortunately, sacrifice is not with out reward. You are fulfilling a God given purpose. God created your body to carry those little people. Not only to carry them but to support them, nourish them, grow them. Walk in this body with joy.
PURE JOY.
Much of my words today are being written in faith because pretty much every morning (or at least every shower) I have to remind 27 year old Sarah of these truths. Our world would tell you that to be beautiful, you must be thin and not only thin but seamless. They would tell you not to let your children define you but they go a step further and tell you, in fear, to possibly not even bother with having those children because all they do is cramp your style. Steal your identity. Ruin your life. In faith and truth, I can tell you, those are lies. Don't believe them.
As a woman, wife & mama:
You are building something beautiful.
Your opportunity is unique.
Your calling is admirable.
Never, never forget that you are doing a great work and must not come down. Not every moment will feel worth all those scars. Not every moment will even feel worth getting out of bed. Every day, mundane, ins & outs, necessary time. It is the time that builds your moments into days, weeks and years. Many, many moments will leave you questioning your sanity, your parenting skills, your abilities. You will even count down the minutes to bed time for your littles... and that's OKAY!
In between all those crazy times, you will find these special moments. Snipits of time when you look around at the mess surrounding you and can appreciate what occurred to make the mess. The moments when you contemplate the miracle that each and every one of your babies are. There will be moments when your love for them makes your heart feel as though it may burst. Moments that make all the rest of your time complete.
So I tell you, appreciate who you are right now- at 17. Who you are and what you are doing is building who you will become. God has a plan for your life and it is good. When you are 27 and you look in the mirror, you don't have to look in horror.
Love the pudge.
Love the lose skin.
Love the stretch marks.
So, are you ready to embrace the camera?
here's the nitty gritty:
1. take a picture with you and your kids/spouse/family member/friend/whatever.
2. blog about that picture and include a link to our blog, or grab our button.
3. link your blog post up on the link tool here (@ the anderson crew).
4. visit the other embracers...give each other lots of compliments about how good we look with our greasy hair andsweatpants velour jogging suits on. cause yah, we need a little boost when it's been days since our last shower.
5. have fun!
Beautiful post. My stomach looks almost identical to yours! It's always nice to see another mama who has "battle scars" :)
ReplyDeletehaha :) we must band together :)
Deletebeautiful!
ReplyDeleteI love when moms arent afraid to show their battle wounds :)
Im notorious for that :)
all part of the process :) I was close to NOT posting them but it is what it is :)
DeleteI needed to read this tonight! thank you for linking up :)
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad it was an encouragement ;)
Deletelol,my stomach looks like that too. The joys of childbirth.
ReplyDeleteMandy
http://bunnygirlblog.com
haha :) joy, joy :)
DeleteThose are NOT stretch marks. You are a FIERCE TIGER and those are you STRIPES!!!
ReplyDeletelol, thanks, Kendra :)
DeleteWOW! This is amazing!! I am so, so impressed. I have the same kind of pudge, and I hide mine away. Seriously impressed by your message and by you.
ReplyDeleteWell, thank you :) I'm not fully confident and you won't catch me in a bikini but I'm trying to just go with it :)
DeleteSarah, this is so beautiful. Thank you for being so open and vulnerable. It's incredibly encouraging and so many of us (obviously) can relate!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the kind words, carrie :)
DeleteI needed this post! was struggling with my stomach the other day. Wondering will it ever go back. I know it won't I'm learning to be proud of it! thanks for the great post!
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad this post was encouraging. This came from my heart and is something I've been walking through
DeleteI'm pregnant with number two right now, and this is honestly something I've been worried about. But, you're so right... the tradeoff is more than worth it! Thank you for reminding me and for being so honest!
ReplyDeleteYou are welcome ;) Thanks for stopping by and leaving sweet words :)
Deletethanks for having the courage to post.. you are fearfully and wonderfully made. good job mama
ReplyDeleteAmen ;)
DeleteAwesome post Sarah! The trade off is so worth it. God made my body the way it is to make babies! Actually GROW new LIFE, so crazy when you think about it that way! The whole process can only be explained with God! Wonderful talk to your 17 year old self! You are an awesome writer girl!
ReplyDeleteBeth, thank you so much :) I appreciate your kindness!
DeleteThank you so for posting this! It has been a blessing to read. I really needed to read this!
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad it was encouraging for you :) Thanks for stopping by!
DeleteNew Follower here -- Beautiful Post! Eye opening for me...I needed this. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteinsidethemindofnicole.blogspot.com
Thanks for stopping by! I'm so glad you were blessed :)
DeleteLove. Wow. Thank you
ReplyDeleteAnd you look amazing. And I shared this with my twin mom group :)
ReplyDeleteHaha, thanks! And talk about wow, I'm honored :)
DeleteJust found your blog and needed to read this post. I am the mother of 4 born in 3 years. My first were twins and my stomach looks similar to yours, a little bit worse than yours but very similar. I have struggled much over the last 6 years with insecurities about it. Will my husband still be attracted to me? Will I ever look good in clothes again? I am learning though that it doesn't matter. I don't know anyone else with this issue so it was refreshing to read your thoughts. Thanks for your honest and real post.
ReplyDeleteI don't know how I missed this comment. I am so glad this was an encouragement to you. We momma's need the comfort of knowing we're not alone in this. Thanks for the comment and I pray you find peace :)
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