Held So Dear

A few months ago, as some of you may remember, Malakai graciously gave up all of his pacifiers to the Paci Fairy. We were so proud of him! He didn't even really fight it too much- I was actually shocked by how easy the whole process was. I was prepared for a couple of rough nights & long nap processes. I was pleasantly surprised to not deal with any of that- for the most part, anyway :)

But...

Michael & I discovered something last night. No, he wasn't sneaking a paci every night. He had just replaced the comfort.

It all started when...

Daddy had just finished the usual bedtime routine with little man... water, story, pray, night-night.  Malakai had the sudden urge to potty- i.e. prolong going to sleep. When he finished, I took him back to bed because he always likes to get covered up. Just as I was saying "love you, nighty night," he yelled in a pretty nasty way at me, "I LEFT MY WATER IN THE LIVING ROOM!!!!" I reminded him that he doesn't need to yell at me that way and gave him an opportunity to correct the tone & ask for his water nicely. He didn't so I left the room.

That's when the wailing and yelling began. Daddy went in and let him know that was unacceptable and had a conversation about why he didn't have his water & explained that he needed to use nice words. He then said he wanted to ask me for it nicely so I decided to show some grace & give him another chance. Instead, he chose smugly to tell me, "I don't care about it." I was pretty shocked but hello, he's human & has a sinful heart just like I do. I left the room.

Thus began worse wailing, screaming, yelling, demanding. It was craziness! There was so reasoning. He was well beyond that. Michael went in again because he was seriously going to wake his sisters up. He kept saying he wanted to ask nicely for it but he had lost that privilege at this point and even when we gave him the opportunity, he still didn't do it. He was unconsolable and said his feelings were hurt and he just really wanted his water.

Now, I'll be the first to admit, this was 1st of all, a battle of wills. I know that because I know my son. This was a test. I'd say, we passed. However, I also know his crying and Michael and I both had the sense that this became more than just a battle of the will. When he comes in our room in the middle of the night, 2 things always accompany him- #1 his blanket, #2 his sippy cup of water. Occasionally, Buzz or Curious George are in hand but always, always, blankie & cup. I never really thought much about it until last night. Who knew something as silly as a cup could be a comfort? Weird. My son is weird.

This got me thinking... What things do I hold so dear to my heart that when removed would leave me  wailing & kicking my feet? I mean that (mostly) figuratively.  Relationships? T.V.? Phone? Internet? I know last week I had a splitting headache from 2 (unintentional) days without coffee. (pathetic, I know) Are there things, that if the Lord directed, I'd be unwilling to surrender? Is my attitude robbing me of abundant blessings from the Lord?

"He who has clean hands & a pure heart, who does not lift up his soul to what is false & does not swear deceitfully, He will receive blessing from the Lord.

  Psalm 24:4 (ESV)

This is something the Lord has been laying on my heart for the past couple of weeks. The devotional I've been doing, Soul Detox, gave this little check list to help test out some of the things that may be choking my spiritual health.

1. Am I being entertained by sin?

2. Is it pleasing to God?

3. Does this lure me away from Christ?

So, Malakai, I get it. Sometimes it's hard to deal with the consequences of our sin & sometimes it's hard to give things up that are special to us. Not sure how a cup makes you feel safer but we're all in this life together, learning & growing.

And buddy, you may be weird but ask anyone, they'll let you know, 

the apple doesn't fall far from the tree 

:)