As a woman, wife & mama it can be a daily struggle sometimes to take my eyes off of my circumstances and put them on Jesus. My heart and mind becomes clowded w/ doubt, insecurity, frustration, pride, coveting... really it could be any number of things that puts the focus on me and not on my Jesus.
Today, I did this little exercise and thought I would share what the Holy Spirit shared with me through His word.
When I am tired or stressed or whatever excuse I can come up with to reason my behavior, I can tend to grumble and complain. like a. lot. Sometimes I don't even want to be around myself. I will find a fault in anything and everything there is to find fault it. (sometimes even where there isn't any) My poor hubs. He usually just 'takes it' and might say something to the affect of, "wow, I can't do anything right, huh?"
In no way is that who Jesus has called me to be, nor is it at all a reflection of his saving grace in my life. This is where he has placed me for such a time as this- as a minister to my family. He has called me to serve them and love them. Most of the time I enjoy it... I mean I love being a wife and a mama.
Usually what happens is, I begin to dwell on all the things that are NOT getting done. All the things I have left to do. All the things I don't like about my house, husband, kids, myself and BAM! negativity begins to flow like a flooded river right out of my mouth.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.
I rejoiced in the Lord greatly that now at length you have revived your concern for me. You were indeed concerned for me, but you had no opportunity.
(Philippians 4:8-10 ESV)
Anyone that knows me and knows my husband could tell you that I am one blessed lady. Michael truly has a servant's heart and will give you the shirt off his back if he thinks you need it. A dream for him would be to own a full service auto maintenance truck so that he would be able to stop at any moment and help some one out- no charge- no expectation- just to be a blessing. He has a big heart and gives it freely. He gets frustrated because he feels like he can't do enough. We were having a discussion the other day and I told him I thought it was silly how a lot of wifes/moms view the husbands as "getting" to go to work... His response? "But we do! We do get to go to work. I feel bad that you are here all day taking care of the kids and house and all the things you do. I wish I could be here to help you more. I could never do what you do." Couple of things I know for sure, #1 one of us has to pay the bills and #2 I would NEVER want his job. I love being a mom and even when things get crazy (which happens...often), I wouldn't trade this season with my littles for anything.
Only when my mind is full of these truths, can I be content. If I allow myself to wander into and be consumed by all that I don't have, I miss out on the wonderful blessings that are right in front of me. To keep things in perspective, this is my prayer:
Philippians 4: 6-9 whatever is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, or praiseworthy, think about these things. Only by keeping my mind & heart focused on these things, will I be able to love them and serve the way you have designed. My children are a blessing from the Lord. They are beautiful creations from God. They smile, laugh, give kisses and hugs. They are smart little sponges. My husband is loving, kind and gracious. He is a hard worker, adorable, and a true blessing to my life. He is a loving papa and a precious gift to me. You have called me to be a servant- I desire to serve my family and show them the gospel and point them to Jesus. Thank you, thank you, Jesus for your unending blessings and love. Thank you for your grace and kindness. Thank you for my family. Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU. May my home be a haven of peace and comfort, full of love and joy from You.