Psalm 139 was my love letter from Jesus to these inner struggles. If you've never read it, please read it. If you've read it a thousand times, read it as if you've never read it before. Soak it in. Pray it. Meditate on it. Trust me, this scripture with touch you. The intricate hand of an artistic, perfect, loving creator is the One that made me who I am. Realizing that is humbling and equally encouraging.
Search Me, O God, and Know My Heart
O LORD, you have searched me and know me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O LORD, you know it altogether. You hem me in, behind and before, and lay hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it. Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or whereshall I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me. If I say, "Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night," even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is as bright as light to you. For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My face was not hidden from youm when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them! If I would cound them, they are more than the sand. I awake, and I am still with you. Oh that you would slay the wicked, O God! O men of blood, depart from me! They speak against you with malicious intent; your enemies take your name in vain! Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD? And do I not loathe those who rise up against you? I hate them with complete hatred; I count them my enemies. Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way of everlasting!
Wonderful, WONDERFUL are your works; my soul knows it very well. He searches out my path and my lying down and is acquainted with all my ways. I have nothing to fear. Not even myself. He created me. He loves me. He goes before me. He KNEW me before I was formed. He is with me always.
Learning to rest in Him and trust the Creator's plan brings peace. It brings joy. I can see that the rain brings life. The cool air is refreshing. My children are a blessing from the Lord. No matter how many times I look in the mirror and see a face that doesn't have time for make-up most days and hair that hasn't been washed for 2 days or stretch marks that are here to stay, I know that I am His and He is mine. May I encourage you to rest and be content with the woman, wife, mama, sister, daughter that He created you to be- I know I am... at least right now at this very moment... I might have to re-read this post tomorrow morning as a reminder ;)
Call Me Blessed: We Encourage Tuesday